My HG story: Jayme Warncken

I fell pregnant just after my 18th birthday, now looking back at it I was so naive thinking pregnancy was going to be easy. I started feeling sick 3 days past ovulation, I saw a GP and he said “I think you’re pregnant”, low and behold I took the test and if it had alarm bells it would have sounded like a nuclear siren. The test was obviously positive, so we go for bloods and a scan, bloods show really high numbers.

The GP says “maybe this is a multiple pregnancy”, the look my fiance and I gave each other was shock but happy. We were only 18, one baby would be a lot but how would we go with 2 or more, it was a scary thought but it was only the start of this journey.

From then on we got bloods weekly, and a scan about a month after that initial appointment. In that time I had my first hospital visit, where I discovered I am allergic to Maxalon so that removed one option that could possibly help me. I had fluids and medication and went home a couple of days later.

Now, my regular bloods were not dropping but were not going up like the doctor expected for what the first bloods showed, the GP then warned us before the scan that this may not be a viable pregnancy because things were just not adding up. We go for a scan and the ultrasound lady says are you sure on your dates, yes we said and she went to get the head ultrasound tech, "look we can see a sack, but nothing in it currently, it could be that it’s too early or that this isn't a viable pregnancy.”

We had the follow up with the GP and he reiterated everything the tech said,  best case scenario it’s too early to see anything but worst case this is not a viable pregnancy. At this point I was already vomiting and really sick, I had lost 5 kg and it was devastating to find out even though I had been so sick for the past month it could end up not being a viable pregnancy and it would be all for nothing.

After another month we had another scan and the amazing feeling of seeing that little flicker of a heartbeat on the screen was just indescribable, I gave a sigh of relief and thought “okay this sickness will end soon as I am around 8 week and its all worth it, baby looks good and yes there is only one.”

GP said he thinks the high bloods were just hormone-related and that there was only one baby they could see, but baby looked good. I am now 9 weeks, I was optimistic things were going to get better but they didn't.

By this time I had had another hospital admission, where they diagnosed me with HG and they also discovered I am allergic to Stemetil, there goes another medication option to help. I sighed but I had all over dystonia from the medication, it was a horrible reaction, I felt like I wasn't in my own body and had absolutely no control of anything my body was doing.

Between 9 and 13 weeks I had several more hospital admissions and ended up losing a total of 20 kg, the hospital was okay but I honestly felt like no one understood. My friends and family only knew HG as something Princess Kate had, and she still looked great and kept up with royal duties etc.

It used to annoy me when people would say "oh what princess Kate had/has, well she’s still keeping up appearances etc" well yes I guess I would too if I had the type of help and medical care she has, It was beyond frustrating.

Between 13 weeks and 24 weeks, I had several hospital admissions, fluids, medication changes. I had been crackered and gingered, travel sickness banded, acupunctured, chiropractored and every other thing anyone could ever think of that they thought would help.

It was nice to think people cared but also so annoying to hear it over and over, like honestly I had tried everything mentioned plus more and tried lots of medicines too and it was just so frustrating, nothing was really working and people just didn't get it.

I also have mental health issues so also got the "oh well we think it’s in your head" or could you try to just not vomit like I had a choice in this whole situation.

I had tried medication change after medication change, appointment and hospital admissions after another, fluid after fluid, vomit after vomit and things were just horrible. I remember I think I was about 12 weeks and just thought “is this honestly all worth it?”

My physical health was suffering, my mental health was suffering and my relationship was suffering.

It was hard for my fiance to see me so sick but he knew there was nothing he could do that would help. By this point, I had considered terminating the pregnancy but I had also gotten this far and I couldn't have it all be for nothing.

From 24 weeks till 28 weeks the vomiting slowed, I wasn't losing any weight but I wasn't gaining any either. Then at 29 weeks, HG came back with a vengeance if I only vomited 20 times a day it was a good day.

I was still on a whole heap of medication as well as fluids and hospital admissions and appointments but it only did so much. Every hospital visit it was the "usual “have you tried this or that?” and I had tried it all, I just decided that my body hated pregnancy, this was my new normal and it was horrible.

I got to the point where I was mad. I was mad at the medical staff for not understanding and not being able to help, I was mad at the world for this happening, I was mad at my fiance because it’s his baby too, I was mad at friends and family for not understanding, I was mad at this little baby for making me so sick and I was mad at everyone saying "well at least you have a healthy baby, at least you can get pregnant, at least everything else is alright”. I felt so dismissed and unimportant. It felt like “yes I am sick but I should be happy for it”. It’s not fair that how I was feeling was being dismissed just because I should be grateful that I was even pregnant.

My mental health dwindled over the whole 9 months and I was so worried that I was going to hate this little baby once she was born and that terrified me, how something I wanted and hoped for so much could turn into such a horrible time for me. From 29 weeks till she came at 40+4 I was still vomiting several times a day, medication was only doing so much and I felt like death.

In the 9 months I was pregnant I honestly lost count of how many times I vomited, how many hospital admissions I had, how many bags of fluids, how many medication changes, how many times I was gingered and how many times I was told I should be grateful to be pregnant. It was honestly a horrible 9 months, with all the ups and downs it was hard to be excited about having a baby, but the moment they placed her on my chest all my worries went away and I realised I couldn't love anyone more than how much I love this little person, even with how sick she had made me.

My second pregnancy, I was warned it could happen again but I and my doctors were just hoping it wouldn't. Before I got pregnant I put a little extra weight on just in case I did get sick again.

Unfortunately, I was around 3 weeks pregnant and low and behold I started vomiting again, the hospital admissions started again and so did the medication. By 6 weeks my husband stopped working, he had to stay home and care for myself and our first child, our savings were getting lower and lower and the cost for medications was growing.

I was mad, I felt robbed, I just wanted a normal easy pregnancy. I had several friends pregnant at the same time, they all had amazing fluffy pregnancies, they would still go out, go to the gym etc and had cute little bumps and an amazing glow. 

To say I was jealous would be a huge understatement. This pregnancy I was sicker, but it was also better controlled as this time we knew what we were dealing with. I knew to some degree what helped and what didn't and I knew I was my best advocate.

By 10 weeks I had the conversation again with my now-husband, “do we continue with this pregnancy, can I mentally and physically possibly do another 30 weeks of this?” I honestly didn't think I could, but we wanted this baby so bad so I did.

By 11 weeks I had lost 22 kg and had several hospital admissions, and they kept me in for a week at this point. I was loosing between 1-3 kg every day and they discussed putting a nasogastric tube in and to see a dietitian. They tried the tube but unfortunately, 24 hours later I vomited it back up and mentally I just couldn't do it again. Through the whole pregnancy, I again lost track of how many hospital admissions and bags of fluids I had, I lost track of how wrecked my teeth were becoming, I lost track of my mental health and I felt like I was in a black hole and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't claw my way out.

It was a horrible time, I also had cholestasis and PUPPS so for me pregnancy was horrible and I honestly wouldn't wish HG on my worst enemy.

Through this pregnancy, I had all the same thoughts all the same hatred and anger and all the same disappointment that I couldn't just have one "nice" pregnancy. I vomited all the way up till 38+5 when I had my second daughter. Now looking back on it all they honestly were the hardest 18 months of my life, at the time I thought this can’t be worth it all but it was.

Do I wish that I didn't have HG? 100%. Do I wish if I wanted another baby it was just “let’s get pregnant” and have no forethought about all the possibilities and about probably having HG? 100%.

But in the end, it gave me my 2 beautiful children, it made my relationship stronger and it made me believe in myself, it made more doctors and people aware of this horrible thing and I realised if I can get through HG I can get through anything.