Partner story: Joolz Rayment
In all honesty, I knew nothing about HG until the 3rd child, Charlie, was conceived. Kale has been sick with Lily, our first but the doctors couldn’t really offer a good enough explanation other than it was severe morning sickness. Every week they told us it would get better and eventually she was able to function. Harlow, our second was the same luckily it tapered off after 26 weeks. But with Charlie, it was different, I was genuinely scared that we would not only lose the baby but that I may lose my wife as well.
Seeing her curled up on the shower floor in pain and throwing up is an image that will haunt me forever. I would wake up in the middle of the night and find Kale on the shower or bathroom floor having been there for hours. Her Hyperemesis contributed to kidney stones, so more often than not, I would wake up to either crying or screaming and have to run to investigate. I could not tell you the number of hospital runs or ambulances that were called over three pregnancies.
Medically I have no idea how or why it’s caused but suffering from mental health issues, I know the signs that something serious is occurring. Kale didn’t want to leave the house, had no energy, would constantly cry and ask for this all to end. It was more than ‘pregnancy hormones’ this was a mental disease that was caused by the physical effects of HG.
They say the sleepless nights start when the baby’s born but for us it started at conception. I’d stay awake at night so Kale could sleep just to make sure she didn’t choke on her vomit while she was sleeping. I’d get strange looks from people in the streets in the summer time as Kale’s arms were cover covered in bruises from cannulas, on a good day four new bruises would appear, on a bad, countless.
Our other 2 girls would ask me if mummy was going to die if the baby was going to die. The toll that HG took on our lives is huge. The first few times we were young enough not to know better but the third time Kale went in educated and prepared, unfortunately, we were not prepared for the severity of what was to come.
HG is not just a horrible, evil physical illness but also a debilitating mental one that can make you question the lives of mother and baby.
Luckily Kale survived and we are a happy family of 5 but I some times I think ‘what if?’
What if Kale hadn’t been as strong as she was, as strong as I know I couldn’t be and many other people wouldn’t be able to and the answer if I don’t want to know ‘what if’.