My HG story: Lizzie Midgley

They say the most beautiful rainbows happen after a storm, but you don’t truly understand how violently brutal those storms can be until you have had to live through an HG pregnancy and walk home with empty arms.

We did just that four times. Each pregnancy more taxing than the last. Which is why It’s a strange feeling when you’re ready to make an appointment to see the doctor about a hysterectomy and you find out you’re pregnant. 

I wondered how long we would be pregnant for this time. I brought maxi pads to cope with the inevitable bleed of loss. 

I told four people - including the Dr. 

I had weekly bloods taken and two early scans to find out if it was viable. 

I started being sick, day six, week five. It’s a good sign the doctors told me. My GP wrote scripts for all the nausea meds I could safely take. 

I started to bleed at 8 weeks 2 days. 

Sitting in the hospital facing another loss, my heart cried. I cared more than I thought I did. I prepared myself. 

Week 8 was hard. So hard. I had entered the death zone of HG. 

Vomiting 50 times a day on average- despite medications and IV fluids. Despite frozen coke, and every other trick. My teeth hurt. My back hurt, my throat and nose burned. My skin started to peel. My hair started to fall out. I lost weight. Every vomit made the bleeding worse. Fortnightly hospital visits for monitoring and scans. Hours of waiting in clinic rooms. The OBS didn’t think we would last past 16 weeks - I was too high risk. I was too sick. 

Thank god for Mum and Dad. They picked up the slack caring for Boo while I slept and vomited. Thank god for Dwayne, he just ploughed through the renovations while I vomited and slept. Thank god for everyone who did what I couldn’t - big and small, while I curled into myself. 

We made it to 16 weeks. Now the OBs didn’t think we would make it to 20. 

10 weeks we went on like this. 

Blackcurrant cordial and instant Pho became the safest things for me. I still vomited them back up- but they stayed down longer than anything else. More meds, more iv fluids, more bleeding. Wearing Depends underwear while being sick to save the loads of washing I couldn’t do anyway. Enemas and stool softeners to ease the passing of the dreaded Zpoopstapation. 

16 weeks and four days the contractions started. Every 5-10 minutes. They didn’t stop. 

I stayed in hospital. They still didn’t stop.

Vomiting made them worse. Did you know how hard it is to balance sitting on the toilet, with contractions while you vomit into a bucket? I had no idea. 

Finally, at 18 weeks and 3 days, the bleeding stopped. I still didn’t think we were safe. I was still contracting. At every appointment, they would hook me up to the machines to measure them. Check for signs of baby coming. Bed rest. 

At 20 weeks I was still pregnant. 

At 20 weeks I was still contracting. 

Still on bed rest.

I was still vomiting 20+ times a day. 

My teeth started to crack.

At 24 weeks I left the death zone, finally settling into a rhythm of vomiting 10+ times a day. Medicated fluffy. The nausea was unrelenting - I dreamt I was seasick and frequently woke to vomiting. I spent long night hours watching Anthony Bourdain- because when you’re so sick you can’t eat, you dream of eating. And who better to narrate those dreams than a sarcastic foodie? Still, the contractions continued. More admitting to hospital. More inconclusive answers. Bed rest continued. I cried. 

At 30 weeks, I was still pregnant. Can we buy things for the baby people asked. No. 

I was still prepared. Our obs said our chance of having a live baby was 60% better than before. Still I vomited, you shouldn’t have morning sickness now they said. It’s not I said. 

I vomited in the car, walking, sitting, laying. At the shop and school. Every room of my house had a stash of vomit bags and face wipes. My pelvic floor gave up the ghost. So did my stomach muscles. They gave up measuring my contractions, just let us know if they change they said. My bed was my haven.

32 weeks baby engaged so low I could feel its head pushing out. I started to have more trouble walking. I vomited only 5+ times a day- I felt like a new woman. Sciatica started to enter the playing field. So did SPD. Those contractions kept on going. 

34 weeks I begged for induction. 

Pregnant women just like to complain Dr said. 

I couldn’t walk more than a few steps, my poor vagina had a bowling ball parked in it. I contracted every 3-5 minutes around the clock. I still vomited. I was still prepared.

My beautiful village got our house ready for baby. 

36 weeks, one week left. I was hopeful.

Last clinic appointment- check for signs of labour, steroid shots to prepare baby’s lungs for early entry. Seeing anaesthetic doctors tomorrow. All continues as it was. I only vomited four times. I cracked the toilet seat trying to poo. 

36 weeks 1 day. 

I have a pain in my side. It feels like when the cyst in my ovary burst. 

No, I don’t need to tell daddy.

Oww

Yes, tell daddy. 

No, I don’t think I’m in labour. 

Yes, I need help. 

Oww

Wow. Really oww.

Thank you - I’m sorry to be a bother. Please, can we just get to hospital? No, the pain medication isn’t working. No, it doesn’t feel like labour. Thank you for trying. 

Hello midwives. No, I don’t think I’m in... 

Ohh. 

Well, let’s go have this baby then. 

I think the gas doesn’t really work - you just give it to women so they remember to breathe.

Owww. Dude, this really hurts. How much longer? 

Awake. Yes. 

Rushing. Not being able to breathe. 

So much oww. 

You have to put me under because baby is in distress. Ok. 

I can’t breathe. 

I feel.... 

Elizabeth wake up love. 

Ugh

Please, may I have some water? 

Thank you. 

Where am I? 

ICU recovery? 

My uterus ruptured as they wheeled me into surgery. 

What? Again? 

The surgery went ok. Baby is in NICU

Why?

Baby went through the back of your uterus with the placenta. 

She was without connection for a couple of minutes. 

She is recovering really well. 

She? 

We had a girl? 

I don’t feel sick. I hurt all over. But I don’t feel that hot metallic companion anymore. I think I’m hungry. May I have more ice water, please? 

When can I see her? 

Later 

When can I have her with me? 

You have to be off the pain line meds. 

Take them out. Bring her to me.

Are you sure? 

I haven’t used it since that night. Bring her to me. 

Does she have a name? 

No.

You really should ask for help. 

Does she have a name? 

No.

Please sit down when you are in the shower. A wobble is an understatement.

Does she have a name? 

No. 

Will you just let us know when you need something - you’re not bothering us. 

May I hold your baby? In all my years I’ve never had a delivery like that.

Yes.

Does she have a name?

No. 

When can we go home? 

Soon.

Does she have a name? 

Yes - Brigid. 

That’s beautiful. 

Yes. And she is a miracle.