My HG story: Claire Thora
Wow, what a roller-coaster these past 9 months have been. This is not to scare any FTMs and note that it is different for everyone - I was just that lucky 1% who got diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum with my pregnancy and I need to share my story. My name is Claire, I'm a FTM and 25 years old. It has been so hard to be able to share what has been going on in my home for anyone to understand the extent of just how sick I have been.
What I thought was normal morning sickness, was something so much more that would end in hospitalisation, ambulance, fluids/IV, ondansetron, maxolon, restavit, losing 15 kilos, and much more.
The first 6 months, consisted of waking up between 3.30 - 4 and laying on the shower floor for 5 hours straight trying not to either drown in the water as I slowly eased off to sleep in there, choking on my vomit and becoming malnourished and dehydrated.
I couldn't eat for weeks, water was really hard to down and I pretty much lived off raspberry Slurpees when I was able to keep something down.
I didn't want to share this due to backlash from society on the strength us females have to fake. It's all fake. Family and friends weren't fully aware and it took a lot of convincing for them to get what was going on or having to see it first hand and even then, was very scary. All they wanted to see were cute baby bump pics. Was better to live in ignorance on their end than to realise the truth on what was going on. No one could help me. We were all scared.
Hyperemesis isn't fully covered. It's not spoken about and it’s rare to come by someone who's had it (in my experiences) and because the females in my life hadn't experienced it, it was hard for them to relate.
I got the 'she'll get over it' 'have a ginger biccie' 'it'll go away in the next trimester' or some would compare their pregnancies when all I needed was support, not my horse is bigger than yours.
And here I am 37 weeks, just finished getting sick from both ends, laying on that shower floor, waiting for it to go away.
I know I got this far and I will continue this hard journey until my beautiful daughter is here. It is all for her. Not once did I give up, I kept going, I kept pushing, and kept that positive mentality.
It's all for her. Though I will never mention it to her unless my poor baby has to go through it herself - I would never remind her what I had to go through to bring her into this world - I will just tell her it was all worth it and that's it.
I wish more people were educated on it - I wish more people could empathise but in the real world, you only have yourself to pick you back up and keep fighting.
But in saying that - I cannot thank my partner enough for the numerous amount of times having to leave work early, picking me up from that bathroom floor and cleaning me, cleaning my crap and vomit, sitting by the door for those hours waiting for me to come back to consciousness, fighting for me at the hospital to make ER realise how serious this is, fighting for me at the GP so they can give me medicine because giving pregnant ladies medicine is BAD BAD BAD and continuously fighting for my health and happiness.
I can't imagine the vicarious trauma you would have had to go through, witnessing the person you love in that state - I couldn't imagine it, baby.
The most important thing is throughout this whole 9 months, our baby girl has been thriving, dancing, and eating all the good stuff that my vitamins can give and my excess fat she gobbles in me even when i can't eat - baby will always be ok and that's the main thing.
Life is full of constant battles but this is something that needs to be discussed and for people to be aware of. It’s a hideous sickness and needs to be taken seriously.
I'm so proud I didn't let her go - I'm proud I wasn't part of 15-20% of hyperemesis diagnoses who ended up in termination.
Though my chances of going through this again with my next pregnancies are high, I can't imagine the thought of not having another baby... I don't know how we do this to ourselves.
We are superheroes.